My Leadership Journey
Everything I Didn't Learn in Kindergarten
In 1988, Robert Fulghum released a bestseller entitled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. It is a collection of essays about everyday life presented in a humorous and thought-provoking way. Fulghum is (or has been at various points) a minister, musician, painter, sculptor, teacher, and author, which qualifies him for insight if nothing else. While others have used his work as a leadership guide -- and I believe it has merit in that context -- I wish I could say leadership was that elementary. If it were, seems like all of us would be better at it.
It has taken me quite a few years beyond kindergarten to gain a good understanding of leadership, but now, after graduate school and 20 years of working, volunteering, on top of a lifetime of watching family and church dynamics, I’ve shaped my thoughts on what I really need to know about leadership.
My personal journey with what society refers to as formal leadership started in the 10th grade, when I sought to become secretary of the Student Council at the Academy of Richmond County (ARC), in Augusta, GA. I can’t tell you what motivated me to run: Boredom? Recognition of the need for diversity in student government? A nudge from a teacher? An opportunity to enhance my college applications?
Though it was a four-person race, my greatest competition came from Robin Dixon. We were always friendly, two genteel Southern ladies in training. I knew she had me on the ropes when she started handing out candy; everybody likes candy, and it was beyond my budget (and unoriginal) to do likewise. My response was to engage the “boys (and girls) in the hood.” Because registration was required to vote, I spent a lot of time talking to them about it -- in fact more time than I spent explaining my platform, whatever it was. And I developed an untested idea: Get posters, ask friends to sign them, and post them around the building as a demonstration of support for my campaign. Rides to and fro on school bus #101 became my most fruitful campaigning time. I picked up some key leadership skills on the way to a narrow victory: Planning; organization; mobilization; time management; public speaking in formal and informal settings; keeping an eye on the competition; identifying my core constituency; overcoming budgetary limitations.
Once in office, though, all I could see was the work. The Student Council planned events, but I can’t say we created anything new or different, or that our “leadership” resulted in anything that would not have happened anyway. I learned much about the demands of service and commitment – two critical aspects of leadership. But I don’t recall much else. Were we poor leaders? Did our constituents and faculty advisors not demand enough of us? Were service and commitment the primary things the experience was designed to teach us?
I left that experience feeling that the greatest real leadership we demonstrated was in the act of running for office. We had to stick our necks out, chancing a public defeat. We had to persuade others to see things our way, knowing all would not. We took on a considerable and somewhat complex challenge in a diverse student body of 1,600. Race was a factor. The population was roughly 50-50, black-white. Socio-economic status was also a factor: upper-crust old guard Augusta families, military brats, and public housing residents sat side-by-side in our classrooms, cafeteria, clubs, and athletic squads. (Well, not exactly side-by-side, but that is another story.)
My search was on for the real meaning of leadership.
Upon graduation from ARC, I continued my academic and leadership journeys at the College of William and Mary. During my college years, I pledged a sorority, was active with the Black Student Organization, and was selected by the president of the college to be one of his Aides. I learned the fine art of graciousness in the presence of dignitaries, making small talk at cocktail receptions, exchanging ideas in a small group setting. Pledging a predominately African-American Greek letter organization, especially in those days, taught teamwork, division of labor, dedication to a purpose, democracy/group decision-making, priority setting and ingenuity. I honed the mental toughness to function under hostile conditions. I learned that it is possible to work successfully with people you didn’t choose to be on your team if the objectives are clear. Later, I was inducted into Omicron Delta Kappa, in recognition of outstanding leadership, scholarship and service to the William and Mary community. While I certainly appreciated the recognition, I still wondered where the “leadership” was. Though participation with a few campus organizations was apparently enough to be considered a leader, I was not satisfied with that. Again, I felt the lessons learned were all useful for leaders, but, still, where was the leadership?
Since that time, I also have led in faith-based settings. The faith-based leadership opportunities taught me tough lessons regarding the need for structure, accountability, transparency and gaining buy-in on major activities. Most importantly, I learned that the ultimate management manual -- the Bible -- is readily available, if we’d ever think to use it as such.
I could certainly go on about particular experiences and which leadership skills I gleaned from them, as well as my doubts about whether those experiences represented true leadership. But I hope by now you are getting my point: There are a lot of things we call “leadership” that I am not sure meet the standard. The key points in my evolution as a leader were when I witnessed things happen such as the construction of a new edifice in the face of many obstacles, or maintaining calm during a natural disaster, that might not have happened had I not put various leadership skills to work.
Opportunities abound to learn good leadership skills, but simply learning those skills doesn’t make anyone a true leader. Leaders shape new realities, usually by making the unexpected happen; better leaders shape better realities, sometimes by making the inconceivable happen.
No, I didn’t learn all I needed to know about leadership in kindergarten, so thankfully, my learning didn’t stop there.
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